You Don't get...the soiled underware to wash, the credit card bills to argue over, or your holidays ruined by his company.
If you choose to date married guys...at least understand the rules.
1. He may love you...but he will never ever, ever, ever leave his wife for you if he has not done it in the first six months. (and if he does..you probably won't be the person he ends up with...reality(and child support) will set in)
2. Unless she's in a full time care hospital or a body cast...NO MATTER HOW FAT he says SHE ISHE IS having sex with his wife. And he IS enjoying it even though he tells you it was never like it is with you. (Man phrase for...my wife lets me do her sister and their best friend and take pictures... so sex with you requires much less effort...no camera angles to worry about!)
3. If he's great in bed...rest assured...his wife (the cold fish) probably taught him everything he knows.
4. You are his mistress. A sex toy. Deal with it. You are not his soul mate, true love or anybody he can't live without.(nor should he be more than a sex toy for you) He will try to make you believe these things...as long as you are willing to supply the free buffet...he will keep returning for your fine service.
5.If you like to travel alone to exotic locations during the holidays...you will always be free to do so. You will be traveling alone, just as you prefer, because he will be occupied doing family stuff then and he won't be bothering you as you sip pina Coladas on the beach.
6. You may love him....but never, never, never be IN LOVE with him. Unless you are into all that S and M torture stuff...then feel free to fall in love and have your heart ripped out every so often. (one of my favorites is "I can't get a divorce right now...she..she...she just told me she's got cancer...sniff. We will just have to keep us a secret until...its...sniff over..." insert pleading, sad martyr-ridden eyes. "But I know you can make me forget my sorrow for a little while...on Tuesday and Friday? Until we can be together forever?" This is a fantastic long term excuse because when you catch he and his healthy looking wife out to dinner...he can always say how thankful he was that she'd had a good day.
7. Do not buy expensive gifts for him(the wife will destroy them when she finds out and at some point he will probably confess EVERYTHING...and I DO MEAN EVERYTHING)...and for goodness sake don't become attached to his children...or any other family members...whom you will probably never actually meet in person unless it's accidental.
8. Don't send him pictures of yourself naked with your camera phone or digital. (The wife will find the most creative ways of Useing them...should she catch you. Of course once your naked on the internet...it can lead to many new and interesting dating oppertunitys...if this is what you were seeking.)
9. Don't pick up the tab for dinner. YOur services are worth SOMETHING!
10. And most important. If the wife ever confronts you. You tell her that it is YOUR fault and that he always professes his great love for her. He has never wanted to leave her...he was just scared because he's afraid he was old and not pleasing her anymore and needed a little ego boost. (See...this is probably the real facts anyway and you have stolen enough from this woman...at least give her a little peace, hope and dignity. THEN Move on to the next Toy and be Happy knowing you have done your good deed for the day)
IF you CAN'T live by these rule.....DON'T DATE MARRIED MEN...You don't get it...and boy will you ever pay for your own stupidity!!!!!!!
got this from a post at the MCP boards by 3x_pasaway
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